When something is troubling you, who do you call? Does it depend on the circumstance or situation? Is it always the same person? Who is the first person you think of? Is it God?
I’ve asked myself these same questions a time or two lately. Generally my first thought is to call my husband or my mom. Sometimes it’s a close family member or friend. There’s nothing wrong with having trusting relationships and being able to seek out advice. Having these relationships is very important. Others help us in our walk of life. God uses people to help us in our time of need.
Should other people be your first resort in time of need?
Honestly, many times in my life I have used others as my first resort. On many occasions it worked out in my favor, but on many more it didn’t. As I reflect, I see now that this was a time in my life that God seemed to be a last resort. I didn’t ask Him for much. Why would He want to be bothered with little ol’ me? He already knows my needs, what do I have to ask Him for?
You see, no request is silly to God. He wants to be our first resort in every area of our life. He wants us to call out to Him for help. There’s nothing too large or too small for God to work out. He’s always available. He’s always ready, willing, and able. Can you really say that about anyone else?
When we fail to reach out to Him first, we can lead ourselves astray. Not that the person giving you the advice doesn’t have good intentions. I’m sure that they have the best intentions for you. If not, you may want to evaluate your inner circle. The thing is, God may not of gave that person a word about you. They may be speaking from their heart or personal logic and reason, but do not know what God truly wants for your life. When you take their advice it could be leading you further off the path God is leading you down. When you take their help, it may be preventing you from learning a valuable lesson God is teaching and delay a blessing coming your way. He wants us to lean on Him.
In my experience, sharing too much information with others can also damage relationships. It opens the door to a rumor mill and for others to judge and gossip about your life. I came close to allowing this to happen yet another time tonight.
My husband is very ill, grumpy, and in need of lots of rest. After work I was just a little too wound up to say the least. We exchanged some ugly words out of anger. I was so offended, hurt and frustrated by what he said to me. It was very hard to hear these things after being verbally abused all day at work. I needed to talk to someone before I exploded.
I started to think about who I could call for advice. I stomped around the living room frantically sweeping the floor. I needed someone who I could trust to help me during my hurt and anger. I needed someone to side with me. To affirm me in my rage.
Then I heard a still small voice ask, why don’t you ask me? You’re right God. Why wouldn’t I come to you first? This was my chance to ask Him first. I started to pray and asked God why my husband would treat me that way. I asked Him what I did to deserve it. I was able to pour my heart out to Him. He understands. He listens. I asked him to help me change my heart. To let go of the anger. To change my husband and to change me so that I don’t provoke anger in our life. I repented for my anger.
Within minutes, before I was done talking to God, my sick husband crawled out of bed, came in the living room and apologized to me. He said that no matter how sick he is, I don’t deserve to be treated that way. He hugged me. He told me how precious I am to him. He then apologized to our daughter in case she heard him disrespect me. She says she didn’t, but he didn’t care. He told us both how much he loves us and that he is so sorry. He explained to her that a man doesn’t treat a woman that way. He asked for forgiveness. It was absolutely incredible. God is incredible.
If I would’ve called a family member or friend, I would’ve opened the door for them to pass judgment. They could assume he hasn’t changed from any of his old ways. They may think that he treats me poorly on a daily basis. That I deserve “better.” Whatever that is in their eyes. They are only human. It happens to all of us, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Blogging about the situation does open that door for anyone to place judgment, but I felt it was a relevant example. False judgment, gossip, and negative assumptions destroy relationships. There’s no reason for me to invite any of these things into my life. But I will never be afraid to share what I go through if it might help someone else.
Sometimes it’s best not to share so much of your personal life with others. Always use discretion and think twice before you speak. You may do more damage that would’ve been prevented if you would’ve just called on God first. If another person is needed to help, He will place them on your heart. When He does, make that call.
In this situation, I didn’t need to call on anyone but God. I’m so thankful that I did. God is the center of my marriage. He knows our hearts and only He can change them. We have to be willing to invite Him in when we need His help. Tonight He reconciled our issue and changed our hearts in a matter of minutes. All I had to do was ask.
What do you need to ask Him about?
Try it. Right now. Just ask. Reach out to Him.
He’s waiting for you.
Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory. Psalm 50:15
In my trouble, I called out to the Lord and He answered me. Psalm 120:1
Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come. Jeremiah 33:3
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him and He will help you. Psalm 37:5
God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. Psalm 46:1