Rejecting the Lies

For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 2 Corinthians 10:3-4

Learning to reject the lies. What lies are you talking about? The lies that others tell us? Or the lies we tell ourselves?

Today I’d like to share what I’ve learned and talk about the lies we tell ourselves and how to learn to reject those lies and replace them with the truth.

I received an advanced copy of the book, “Enough: Silencing The Lies That Steal Your Confidence” by Sharon Jaynes. I initially read the book in March for the book launch, but am reading it again and participating in an awesome online study with Sharon and thousands of incredible women. It’s amazing to me the different perspective I have reading the book this time around. It’s been so freeing to learn and accept this shared wisdom and God’s truths for my life. I can’t thank Sharon enough for the wisdom she has imparted on me over the years. She has been a God send for my life.

This book teaches about the battle for our thought life and equips us how to fight back and ultimately win the battle. We have to learn to change the way we think and how to see ourselves and our circumstances through the lens of Gods truth. As we learn to see ourselves through Him, we can reject the lies of the enemy.

Sharon teaches in chapter 4 that negative chatter distorts and distracts us from our destinies. Many of the negative thoughts we think have been in our minds for a long time. We might not know how they started and they can become “strongholds.”

A stronghold is a thought pattern that forms in our mind, holding us hostage to faulty thinking. It could be as a result of a traumatic event or even repetitive faulty thinking over time. Sadly, these thought patterns can take over your mind and rule your life. What may have been meant to protect you can actually end up becoming a prison.

Strongholds come in many forms and are used by the enemy to deceive us and keep us in sin and bondage. These strongholds become our reality when they become a habitual pattern. Strongholds can be things such as negative thinking, overeating, drinking, drug abuse, excessive shopping, or promiscuity. The list doesn’t end there.

Sometimes we can’t even recognize these strongholds because we’ve grown so comfortable with them. They have just become a part of who we are. Strongholds cannot be destroyed in our own strength. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to demolish the strongholds in our life.

We can combat strongholds and overcome them through the Holy Spirit and God’s word. As we learn the truth and guard our hearts and minds with it, we can win the battle over our mind against the enemy. We must learn to recognize the lie, reject the lie, and replace the lie with God’s truth.

Through Christ, we have the power to take every thought captive and make it obedient to God. Once we learn to reject these lies and choose to believe God’s truth, we will no longer be held captive to a life less than God’s best.

I know I’m tired of living less than God’s best for my life because of my own strongholds, aren’t you?

I had to make an intentional decision for my life. I’ve taken a stand and have decided that I have had ENOUGH of the enemy’s condemnation and lies and I am going to fight with everything I AM to take my life back.

Thankfully I now know that I am not alone and that my strength comes from Him. I have an amazing community of believers in the body of Christ who love me, accept me, and support me in the battle. . . Just the way I AM. But ultimately I know because of His spirit living inside of me, I can do all things through Christ.

Father God I come to you in the precious name of Jesus and thank you for this life that you have so freely given to me. Lord, please forgive me when I lean on my own understanding and strength. I’m losing the battle when I fight on my own. But God, when you are with me, I feel your strength and power moving on my behalf.

Father, fill me with your spirit. Empower me with your truth. Cover me with your protection. Use me Lord as you see fit for your kingdom. I thank you for my life and for loving me. I thank you in advance for all you are doing through this study. Help me to recognize the lies, reject the lies, and replace them with your truth. In Jesus holy name I pray. Amen.

With Love,

Stephanie

Are you ready to start rejecting the lies of the enemy and know that you are enough because of the spirit living inside of you?

Get your copy of Sharon’s book, Enough today! You can get a copy from her website https://sharonjaynes.com/product/enough/

You can also get subscribed to her Enough Bible study here: https://sharonjaynes.com/bible-studies/enough-online-bible-study/

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Kick the Toxic Emotions

Anxiety and overwhelming thoughts have been a barrier in my life. These toxic or unhealthy thoughts have held me back on my life journey and have prevented me from moving forward in many areas of my life. Last year I decided that I wanted to make a change.

In order to change you can’t continue to do the same things you did before. . .

I’ve always been hungry to learn and grow and have been on a personal development journey since 2011. I have read countless books, listened to numerous audios, watched many videos, and attended leadership seminars over the years to help me on my journey.

Community has also been an intricate peace. I love learning from others that have been on a similar journey as my own. Making these connections with others through community has helped me develop strategies and tactics to deal with my overwhelmed and anxious thoughts.

One thing I do know about me is that I have to take time daily to work on my changed mindset. It’s been being consistent in the daily walk of investing in myself that has changed my life. I have learned so much the last few years, and I can’t wait to share it with others.

My hope is to help others also identify with tactics and strategies that can help them to overcome their anxiety and overwhelm.

Does this sound like you?

Maybe you know of someone else that needs support in this area.

I’m looking to partner with you and others just like you in 2018 to regain control of your thoughts, and to start living a less frantic, anxious life.

With Love,

Stephanie

You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter. Looking to make deeper connections through community or for one on one coaching? Please email me at stephanie.plair@icloud.com.

Slow Down! Aren’t You Tired of Speeding Through Life?

Are you that Mom that sometimes checks out when your kids are talking? You don’t really mean to, but a couple minutes goes by and you think to yourself, “oh crap, did I just miss all of that?” I get it, you’ve got so much on your mind. I’m guilty of it too.

Maybe it doesn’t seem like you’re tuning them out, but you’re always multitasking? I totally understand. As moms we have so much on our plates. There’s always something that has to get done. You might think if I don’t do it all, it won’t get done. It’s like a constant balancing act. But doesn’t that circus get overwhelming?

Don’t you ever think there has to be a better way!? Because I have. And I do. And my heart keeps telling me to slow down. To rest. To simplify my life. But my head tells me I don’t have time for that because there’s so much stuff to get done.

Since when did the task or the stuff become more important than the relationships?

With our daughters growing up so fast, I realize more and more each day how important it is to spend quality time together. Uninterrupted time that we are fully engaged with one another. And that time together has become so much more precious to me. Because I don’t know how many more of these moments I’ll get. Because before I know it, they will be off in this big world without me.

So we have started to simplify our lives together. Focusing on who and what are truly important. For this season of our life. At this time. Right now. You have to remember there are seasons of change in your life that each of you will go through. But you will go through it together. Others may not continue on your journey with you.

First and foremost, in our home, we have to keep our focus on the Lord. Our personal relationships with Him are how we transform and thrive. As a family we also pray and read God’s word together. We talk about real life things. Because secrets get messy. And if you don’t talk about real life with your children, someone else will. . .

Teens already have enough pressures to face. As parents we can’t leave them feeling alone or they will look to the world for their answers and comfort. Our children must have a relationship with the One to understand that even when we aren’t with them, they are never alone. He is always with them. He is fighting for them on their behalf. And He loves them. Unconditionally. No matter what. With open arms.

Now that’s real love. And that’s the kind of love I want them to know and feel from our Heavenly Father. That’s the kind of love I want them to experience in our home, so that they are able to share that love with the world.

So I will listen to my heart. Because I know it’s connected to the One. I will slow down my fast paced life. I will take time to rest. And as a wife and mother, I made a choice to love and serve God and my family first with my whole heart. And when I do, it outpours and overflows to you. Through this process I hope you will also grow more in love with your Heavenly Father, with yourself, your family each and every day.

With Love,

Stephanie

I Hate to Break it to You, but You’re not Perfect.

When everything must be perfect, can anything ever really be good enough?

Perfectionism. It’s a disease. One that I have battled for a long time. So long that I learned to joke about myself that I’m a borderline perfectionist. Well borderline isn’t going to cut it anymore. That is just who I am and as I have come to terms with that, I’ve been able to connect with some better information to create strategies to help myself overcome the disease to please.

What I’ve learned that has helped me the most is the ability to identify what causes me to get overwhelmed. A big part of that are the unmet expectations that I place on myself. The sad part is I’ve spent many years beating myself up over unmet expectations that just weren’t attainable. How crazy is that?

I’ve also learned that sometimes I don’t even get started because I’m afraid something won’t turn out well. Or I wait up until a deadline to submit something, not because I’ve procrastinated and sat on it, but because I’ve wasted so much precious time tweaking, changing, perfecting, adding to, taking away from…probably completely annihilating the original point I was trying to get across…you get my drift?

So perfectionism in psychology is a personality trait, characterized by a person’s striving for flawlessness and setting high performance standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations and concerns regarding others evaluations. It’s like an endless report card on whatever you want it to be for… think accomplishments. . . looks…perfectionism is a fast track to a life of unhappiness and depression because you’ll feel like you’ll never meet the mark.

I believe that being a perfectionist can be both positive and negative. In a positive sense, it can cause you to have a healthy drive or motivation for certain things. Perfectionists value excellence and strive to meet important goals. In a career this can be a very positive trait to have because you will already have self-imposed high standards, you are highly organized, and you can generally reach the standards placed on yourself.

On a negative note, it can also be really self-destructive and when these unrealistic expectations are imposed on others, it can be really damaging to the relationship expecting someone else to reach your level of performance. Perfectionists can also be super sensitive to imperfection, failing, and weakness because they believe they should be perfect without hesitation, deviation, or inconsistencies. They believe that their acceptance is never making mistakes and they don’t know the meaning of “good enough.”

This can also lead to a lot of procrastination and shame and leave them as being very rigid because of how they feel about themselves. Which obviously causes issues in relationships with family members and friends because they don’t feel that they can meet the expectations placed on them by the perfectionist.

Perfectionists are known to self-destruct because they are driven by fear… fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, and ultimately fear of disapproval. They can easily self-destruct because of their own vicious cycles that they are making…Set unreachable goals -> fail to reach them -> become depressed and lethargic -> have less energy and a deep sense of failure -> get lower self-esteem and high self-blame.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing with setting high standards, but they need to be reachable with effort. Perfectionists must learn to be ok with not being super human and with being among the best. The last time I checked, the only perfect being that ever walked this earth was JESUS himself.

So I will continue to strive to be more like Him, but also learn to give myself grace, and to love every imperfect part of me because this is who He designed me to be.

I encourage you to do the same. Don’t be afraid to fall in love with yourself all over again. You are precious and worth far more than you can ever imagine.

With Love,

Stephanie

Nothing to Prove.

Personal development and devotions have meant the world to me on my transformation life journey. The books and devotions I have read over the years have spoke so much truth to my life. My desire to grow and change has also helped me to be more open minded on my journey. I’ve been exposed to and learned things over the years that I may have missed out on if I would’ve remained so closed minded.

I’m thankful that God created me to be a deep thinker with a desire to grow and seek wisdom for my life. I love that I am free to be me and to challenge what truths aren’t for my life. I love that I can also use spiritual discernment to determine the people and things that aren’t meant for me. I determine my own personal truths and I belong to a creator that has molded me and has a divine purpose for my life. And so do you. . .

God alone is the source from which all things we crave and hope to become. God always delivers His promises. Not in our time, but in His perfect timing. There is nothing that you face that He isn’t aware of. He allows everything in your life that happens to you. Nothing that you go through is too much for Him to handle. When you seek Him with your whole heart, you learn to realize that you are never alone. That you are loved. That there is so much more to life. That He does have His best interest for you. That He cares for you more than you will ever know.

The more you get to know Jesus, the closer you will become to Him. The more you will be able to see others through His eyes. The more you will be able to love openly and freely. The less you’ll judge. The less harm you’ll do to yourself and others. You’ll have less negative emotions. . . less stress, anger, sadness, and will be filled with so much hope.

Jesus is the source of our true peace. He is our help. He is our deliverer and strength. He is in this with you and working on your behalf. You just have to believe He is enough. Because the truth is that we are never enough. We can’t do things in our own strength. We will never achieve the things we are longing to achieve alone.

But the good news is that Jesus is enough. He has rescued us from the need of striving each day for things that have no eternal value. He has given us a purpose and is there to walk with us every step of the way. But we must invite Him in to the process. We must learn to turn to Him and seek Him with our whole hearts.

When you can see yourself through His eyes, you’ll learn that you have nothing to prove. That you are already enough for Him. That it doesn’t matter what others say or do to you. That no amount of works will make Him love you more. You can’t earn that. He already paid the price for you. It doesn’t matter what you did. You are forgiven and you’ve always been enough for Him. You were chosen and given a greater destiny.

Encountering Jesus has built a new way of life for me. It’s built a path of knowing Him better and living through His strength instead of my own. When I operate through Him and His grace and allow the Spirit to work through me, I don’t get burnt out from striving for the wrong things. When I keep my focus on Him, I’m able to achieve all that He has set out for me.

We need Him and to recognize our need for God is the beginning of truly finding Him. We can experience true fulfillment in life, but only through Him. We can stay connected to others, but only through Him. We can experience true rest, but only through Him. We can have abundance now, but only through HIM.

Will you choose Him? Because He chooses you. And He is waiting for you to come. To drink from the overflowing streams of life. To satisfy you and quench your thirst.

You have nothing to prove. And neither do I. You already belong to Him.

Will you allow him to save you?

With Love,

Stephanie

Jesus said, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” John 7:37-38

Are you thirsty? Are you longing for a closer relationship with Him? Unsure where to start? I’d love to partner with you on your journey of seeking closeness and true belonging to Him. Please contact me via Facebook, Twitter,Instagram, or email me directly at stephanie.plair@icloud.com. I’d love to hear from you! 

Mindset Matters.

“You are not what you think you are. But what you think – YOU ARE!” Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

Have you ever been told that success begins in your mind first?

Did you know that your attitude can shape your destiny?

How about that your outlook on life determines how you experience the world around you?

If your efforts have failed in the past, it could be as a result of negative thinking. Someone with a negative attitude dwells on problems, finds fault in others, and focuses on limitations. Someone with a positive attitude concentrates on solutions, blessings, and possibilities. Some people call it the glass half full or glass half empty life filter. Whatever you want to call it, this applies to all areas of life.

So, how does your attitude check out when it comes to your health?

I know in the past, I’ve personally had a negative attitude when it comes to my health. I’ve made excuses like, “I can’t work out that many times a week,” or “There’s no way I can eat like that.” I’ve blamed genetics, my busy schedule, my low bank account, my family and their habits. . . No matter how many excuses I’ve tried to make to cop out, I know in my heart that my family’s health and wellness legacy starts with me. That if I truly want to change our families future, I have to have a better perspective about the changes I need to make.

If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me . . .

You’ll never be able to truly change until you change your perspective. Your own limited thinking is what keeps you stuck where you are at. You also have to learn to quit overthinking things. Allow yourself grace to keep from giving up on yourself when you get frustrated or feel like you’ve failed. You have to learn how to get out of your own head and stop over analyzing things. There’s always a solution! Stop with the mental calisthenics. You are stressing yourself out! Results happen when you are doing something consistent and moving forward.

One place I had to start with changing my mindset was with positive affirmations. You have to learn to encourage yourself. These daily affirmations are important. If you stop speaking life over yourself, you’ll get discouraged easily. There’s just something about consistency that makes you start to believe these things about yourself. As you believe them and begin to truly love yourself again, you’ll see the difference in how others treat you as well.

Personal Development has been crucial to my journey. I made the choice to start reading personal development books, watch positive videos, and listen to educational podcasts/audios. You have to find who inspires you, who you can relate to and then start to follow them! The content you are allowing in your life is important. Is what you are listening to, watching, or reading feeding and stimulating your mind? As you learn and apply the information in your life, you’ll see changes that will make you hungrier to learn and grow more. You have to make sure you are putting into action what you are learning. That is how you will get the results you are looking to achieve.

Find a community to plug into. Associate with like-minded individuals. People that are in the trenches with you and are looking to achieve similar goals. Don’t be afraid to hang out with someone that is 10 steps ahead of you. When you remain coachable, these types of people are able to pour into your life to help you grow. These influencers will align with your core values and help you gain prosperity in life. When you learn to invest in experiences and not things, you will be fulfilled.

You have to learn to forfeit excuses and justifications. They keep you stuck where you are. You have to learn to be aware of how you approach things. Train your mind for solutions instead of obstacles. Learn to ask yourself, “what’s the strategy to solve this?” or “what’s the solution?” You’ve got nothing to lose for trying to change your mindset. For believing that you deserve more. For stepping out on faith and trusting what God is calling you to do for your life.

As you learn to identify your own obstacles, you will be able to find ways to move past your obstacles. The more you become a no excuse model, the more no excuse people you will attract. Remember, “Birds of a feather, flock together.” Humble yourself. Learn to not think too highly of yourself. Obstacles cause pressure and that pressure pours out of you when you don’t have a strategy to overcome. This causes hurt and keeps you from being able to make wise decisions for your life. Don’t chase peace as it takes away the vision. Reach for instruction and support from others.

Learn to live with a heart of gratitude and you will be able to see the positive things happening all around you. As you are faithful with the little things, God is going to bless you greater than you can imagine. As you learn how to live on little and simplify your life, you will see so much change in your life. I encourage you to take intentional steps daily to work on changing your mindset.

With Love,

Stephanie Plair

Healthy Lifestyle Strategist

Looking for more? I invite you to head over to my YouTube page to watch my video, “Mindset Check. Taking the Time to Slow Down.” You can access the video here.

You can also connect with me via Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter.

Looking to make deeper connections through community or for one on one coaching? Please email me at stephanie.plair@icloud.com.

Fear or Faith? Which one do you choose?

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

Fear is a basic instinct and can be good or bad. Scripture teaches us that fear can lead us into sin and disobedience if we allow it. It can also keep us running from our true source of hope. The only one who can deliver us from our fears.

God will continue to pursue us, even in our sin. He wants us to deal with and turn away from our sin and move past our fears. But He also knows that we can’t do it alone. He wants us to run to Him in all things. To lean on Him, and His saving grace.

I believe fear can be a positive thing if it propels you toward living out your faith. Unfortunately for many of us, it actually brings about the opposite result. Sin paves the way for fear to settle in our hearts. The more we struggle with sin, the more we’ll struggle with fear. Fear can consume our thoughts leaving us feeling paralyzed.

Are you living paralyzed by fear? 

What are you afraid of?

Not measuring up? Unemployment? Never getting married? Sickness? Failing your children? Losing someone? Running out of Money? Death?

It’s human instinct to shy away from the things we are afraid of. Sometimes our life paths end up leading straight through the things we are the most afraid of. We can’t go around it or over it, but we must go through it. God uses these times as opportunities for us to look fear in the face and declare that it has no power over our life. When we trust God and move forward through our fear anyway, fear loses its power over us.

How do you face your fears?

Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. James 4:8

By growing in your faith, you can learn to face your fears. This comes from having a personal relationship with God. Also being diligent in reading His truth and applying it in your life. Surrounding yourself with other believers to encourage you in your walk helps to remind you of God’s loving character. Other people offer hope and inspiration by sharing what God has already done for them or brought them through. They are also sent to help you and to hold you accountable to living out God’s truth in your life.

What if I fail?

For we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23

To help your cure of fear of failure is the gospel. The gospel reminds us of our limitations and weakness and our need for a savior. We can never be perfect. Jesus is everything you and I can never be on this earth. All of our weaknesses are found in his payment on the cross. All of our imperfections are perfect in the sight of God because of Jesus.

In Christ we are enough. Move from just knowing this in your head, to truly believing it in your heart! We are imperfect and don’t measure up, but our identity isn’t in who we are or what we do, but in WHOSE we are. Our identity is in Christ. When we look to Him, we can establish our personal identity and become everything we were created to be.

We must be willing to answer the call. Even when we do not believe we are able. Through Him we can do all things. God will never call you to a task and then leave you. Instead of fearing what God wants us to do, we need to change our perspective, so that we don’t focus on the size of the job, but on the size of God. He is bigger than anything we’ll ever face.

I challenge you today to seek God and ask Him who you really are. Then to trust what He’s saying and move forward. I challenge you to walk in this truth to become the person God has created you to be. Even if you have to, go afraid. Just go. You never know what will come out of that first step of faith and obedience.

With Love,

Stephanie

To learn more about fear, make sure to read my earlier post.